Adult novelty stores?

Jeff in Ferrysburg asked, "Where's the nearest adult novelty store? Are there zoning ordinances that regulate them locally?"
Mark Brooky
Feb 27, 2013

ANSWER:

I will not judge your intentions, Jeff, and give you the facts. “Do not judge so that you will not be judged.” (Matthew 7:1)

Tinker's Lingerie on Apple Avenue in Muskegon was a popular place for many years, but I've been told the shop has been closed.

A chain called Cirilla's (cirillas.com) has two locations in Grand Rapids, 3525 Plainfield Ave. NE and 3835 28th St. SE; and one at 1050 E. Sternberg Road, Norton Shores.

Spencer's Gifts at The Lakes Mall has some naughty products, but they're pretty tame to some other shops you'll find along major highways. I'm sure you've seen the billboards.

Lover's Lane is at 859 28th St. SW, Wyoming (loverslane.com). Grand Video at 6370 Lake Michigan Drive in Allendale is said to have "adult material."

Most if not all local municipalities have some kind of ordinance on their books that regulate such businesses. The City of Grand Haven calls them "sexually oriented businesses," and they would be restricted to commercial business districts as a "special land use."

The city has two pages dedicated to the regulations for a sex business "to minimize their negative secondary effects," the ordinance reads. It restricts them from being no closer than 500 feet from residential neighborhoods, parks, schools, churches and even similar shops. Furthermore, patrons must be at least age 18, and signs cannot "display or depict any specified anatomical areas or specified sexual activities."

And forget about the stereotypical "peep show booth." Such a room or cubicle would have to have at least one side "totally open to a public lighted aisle," and have "no holes or openings, other than doorways, in any side or rear walls."

Want to read the full city ordinance? CLICK HERE. You'll find it on pages 43-45.

Comments

Woodrow

You mean sex toy stores, right? You're so delicate. This is so cute.

jvc

LOL

tartarus12

I can only imagine what questions in the mailbag didn't make the cut.

christopher

I think it would be very interesting to do a more in depth article to describe exactly why Grand Haven has two full pages devoted to this topic and believe it or not, the Village of Spring Lake devotes even more space to this topic. AND this is NOT by chance. Grand Haven and the Village has had to deal with this in the past. There was one specific "entrepreneur" (I believe in the 70's) that these laws were designed to target. He was an interesting individual (although I do not remember his name because I was just a kid at the time, but I remember a lot of people talking about him around town). He had a part time business of running a bicycle taxi around town. But his primary business was an "adult" store on Third Street ... just one block north from the Tribune offices. Also he operated a special "hotel" called the Spring Lake Motel (I think it was either next to Wesco or next to Arby's in Spring Lake. It would be interesting to hear what ever happened to this man after he was driven out of town. (Not making any judgement on him being driven out of town, but it is strange the things your remember as a kid ... I think I even remember being at the Coast Guard Parade in Grand Haven and he drove by on his taxi tricycle with tourists on the back ... I remember people all around my family talking about him as he drove by ... very interesting.

Mystic Michael

I remember that guy. In fact, I used to work for him - in the bike taxi business, NOT in any of his other businesses. Don't recall his name though.

The year was probably 1977 or 1978. I was in my early 20s at the time. I pedaled the bike taxi along the riverfront in downtown Grand Haven for a few weeks during the summer, to make some cash from the tourists. The deal was, I had to rent the bike from him on a per-day basis - so he was sure to get paid, no matter what. Whatever I made beyond that amount I got to keep. Most days I made out all right, and some days I did great.

The end came when, right at the start of Coast Guard Festival, he abruptly announced that, effectively immediately, the daily rental rate went up by 300%. And just when I was poised to make some real cash too.

I quit right on the spot, on principle. Because I don't do business with weasels. Let him pedal his own @#^@ bike!

MM

christopher

I know it may be "beneath" them, but it would be interesting to hear what our local historians like Dr. Creason and Dr. David Seibold would be able to add on this topic. It is certainly not something we see a lot about in the Tri-Cities museum.

gordbzz231

no worry jeff, just order them online and no one will find out, even come in a brown paper box or envelope, lol, its funny how the big boys will write their own laws to make everyone happy

polarize

Insanitees on Henry in Muskegon. They have a 21 and over store in the back room. I'm not judging...what people do in their own privacy is their business.

tequila news

Yep, you can get as many fan-danglers and do-diddlers as you can stuff in your trunk. And the rest of your car too, I imagine. You can get plenty of funk for your junk at most of your local "suggestive dancing clubs" as well.


You know if someone marketed them properly you could just make no mention of lewd intentions and call them "gag gifts" and all you pranksters could shamelessly stock up your doomsday prep supplies "for novelty purposes only." I would act baffled if an authority figure suggested my goof-nogglers were for "adult intimacy" and inform them they are bringing shame upon my establishment. Sounds like a plan.

Tchambers

I'm surprised there are this many comments, being a sexually repressed and religious town and all...

polarize

@Tchambers, some of us are recovering from the repression and yet remain strong in the faith because of finally being secure in who we are. Thanks for commenting. :)

auddiebrook

Oh since moving here I haven't seen that its much more repressed. It just isn't something you bring up at a p.t.a. meeting. Things are less public here and there are not as many forums for this type of topic. But, I've been invited to a pure romance party about once a month for the past 2 years I've been here. It's tame stuff but definitely not hush hush.

Creed Bratton

Yea just answer without the biblical reference next time please, no need for the mailbag to get all religious.

Mystic Michael

Just gotta work that good old timey religion thang in there somehow... ;-)

MM

Unrepresented

Dear Mailbag: And what is your specific purpose? Let's get some real news in the Tribune instead of this regurgitated space-filler.

michiglen

It was a simple question from a (possibly) simple inquirer.

Yet you - Mark Brooky - have managed to judge this person from some sort of pedestal.

Brooky, you HAVE judged and so WILL be judged!

Don't get me started...

AtomicRooster

Did anyone forget? It is supposedly a free country.

auddiebrook

Not only do i not judge. I encourage non harmfull, healthy exlpoation for yourself or with your partner. In fact I think it's one of the best tricks to help long relationships flourish for decades to come. With that said here are a few resources I didn't see above.

Family video in grand haven has a back room of mild videos.

Bit of a drive but worth it is:

Lions Den Adult Superstore
570 Jonesville Rd, Coldwater, MI 49036

Post a Comment

Log in to your account to post comments here and on other stories, galleries and polls. Share your thoughts and reply to comments posted by others. Don't have an account on GrandHavenTribune.com? Create a new account today to get started.