KALIS: The real reason there isn’t any snow

First and foremost, I’d like to apologize. The lack of snow the past couple of years has entirely been our fault.
Jan 15, 2013


Despite popular belief, it really has nothing to do with global warming — but rather the fact that, just before last winter, we finally got our snow blower fixed.  This year, prior to the season, I bought my daughter new snow pants.   


Do you believe in the irony of Murphy’s Law? Like when your house is a disaster and everyone and their mother stops by; but when it’s nice and clean, there’s not a single knock at the door. That kind of thing. Well, that’s what’s happening here — not some scientific phenomenon — we just plain jinxed it! (Little known fact: Jinx is a close cousin to Murphy)

And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss the snow! Sure, it’s been great driving, not to mention running. And I certainly don’t miss cramming snow pants into an already full backpack; or the pile of wet hats, mittens and boots in the mud room.

But if it’s going to be winter, we might as well have snow so we can do things in it — otherwise, it’s just cold, and what fun is that?

I remember as a kid growing up in the Detroit area how exciting it was to get a snowstorm. I probably still have my “I survived the Blizzard of ‘78” T-shirt somewhere. We couldn’t wait to put the bread bags on our feet and slip ‘em into our snowmobile boots! We’d play outside for hours, building dueling snow forts with our neighbors and stocking them with snowballs in preparation for a fight. 

Once, I made the mistake of putting my mouth on the cold metal fence, but I don’t want to talk about that.

Anyway, those were the days. So, when my husband and I decided to move here, we looked forward to experiencing the glory of lake-effect snow.

The first winter did not disappoint. The day before Thanksgiving, we were covered with a beautiful blanket of white, and the flakes continued to fall, making it feel as though we lived in a snow globe. For years, it seemed it was like that — it would snow in late November and we would not see the ground again until April. 

This was great when my kids were young. There’s something about a child’s excitement that makes you a kid again. I spent hours with my kids taking them on sled rides, building snowmen, making angels, playing "buried treasure," and serving them lunch on the snow table and chairs we would make inside the igloos we built. 

I knew as they got older this would taper off, but we still enjoyed cross-country skiing and frequenting the sled hills.

However, for the second winter break in a row, there was no snow to do any of these activities. We enjoyed our lazy days, but longed to break them up with some winter fun.

Of course, the one time it did snow we were heading out of town — see what I’m talking about? When we returned, the snow was all but gone. So, we watched the Weather Channel, waiting in anticipation for the additional snow they said was coming, only to see it go all around us instead. 

And here we are — still waiting. 

Perhaps I should take back my daughter’s snow pants, or “accidentally” back the car into our snow blower. Do you think it works in reverse? Can you un-do a Jinx without buying someone a Coke? Or should we all as a community put spoons under our pillows, flush ice cubes down the toilet and wear our pajamas inside out? 

At this point, I’ll do whatever it takes. 

At least until spring. Then I cross my heart and promise I will not buy bathing suits until the warm weather is absolutely, positively, for sure upon us!

— By Kelly Kalis, Tribune community columnist





Thanks for the laugh, Kelly - I can relate.

Not to take away from your really clever and funny piece, you indirectly bring up a point that also affects many (if not all) of us - the severe lack of precipitation the past few years, and the resulting historically low water levels here in Western Michigan (and all Great Lakes except Lakes Superior and Erie).

A quick scan on Gov Snyder's website shows no mention or acknowledgement of any plans for Great Lakes water restoration. I would think this serious, potentially long-term problem and the economic implications would warrant some discussion.

While we enjoy your great column on humorous reasons for no snow, we should pause, go one step further, and start thinking about how to deal with it.


Ask and you will receive!.....http://greatlakesecho.org/2013/0...


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