What a plan! When the public schools have to put 50 kids in each class, that’s sure to weed out the lower-achieving kids. They’ll probably get so frustrated that they’ll just stay home. But with the new child-labor laws, they don’t have to sit home and play video games; they can get jobs! The governor has reduced unemployment, created myriad new consumers with their own disposable incomes, thereby increasing income tax revenues. This is great!
With the tax break, businesses will be hiring people left and right; so with any luck, the kids can get jobs where their parents work. Think how much they’ll save on gas! Maybe the entire family can work at the same place! Can you see it yet? With the whole family working at the same place (let’s just call it the Company), I expect some forward-thinking Company will see the wisdom of constructing on-site living quarters for their employee-families (EFs), which they will no doubt lease to the EFs at reasonable rates as long as the EFs work there. As an added benefit, like a manufacturing emergency, the employees can be summoned all at once with some sort of signal; say an air-raid siren. To save more gas and make shopping more convenient for EFs, perhaps the Company could build a department store/filling station on-site as well.
Think of the convenience; EFs could buy everything they need right where they live. I’m sure the Company would allow the EFs to run a tab and then just deduct what they owe to the Company store from their monthly paychecks.
Now, I know what some of you are thinking. “What about the little kids who can’t work?” The governor’s got that covered, too! For the really little kids, the Company can hire someone for minimum wage to watch them (no licensing needed if the day care is where the parents work). One adult to 25 infant/toddlers should probably do fine. For the kids between 5 and 12 years of age, the Company could build a charter school. That’d bring in revenues to the Company of about $7,000 a kid. (Less that $420 cut, of course.) You know what? What if the Company required the kids who are working to go to school on an off-shift? Three school-shifts a day and you’re talking about getting some real work out of those lazy teachers who are bleeding the state coffers dry.
Everyone’s working, everyone’s going to school, more people are paying taxes and Michigan’s economy is going gang-busters. Why would anyone even want to retire?
— James Dean, Grand Haven