Holland couple loves adopting children

Mon, Nov 23, 2009    to del.icio.us

For the past 20 years, Joan and Bart Kalkman have opened their home and their hearts to six adopted children. The Holland couple, who also have two birth children, hope a 14-year-old girl will formally join their expanding family this week.

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"There are a lot of kids who need families and we want to open our hearts and take as many as we can take," Bart Kalkman said. "It's not about us — we have gifts to give."

The Kalkmans begun looking into adoption after their youngest birth child died in a drowning accident in 1987. Ten months later, the family finalized adoption proceedings for a four-member sibling group from Costa Rica. In 1994, they adopted two baby girl sisters from Kenya. Now, about 15 years later, they expect to formally adopt Champagne Jackson, originally from Detroit, during Ottawa County's Adoption Day celebration Tuesday morning.

"She's my daughter," Bart Kalkman said. "She has my heart. I love her."

Champagne is one of six children who are expected to be adopted during Tuesday's celebration at Ottawa County 20th Circuit Court's Family Division. The event will be held from 9 am. to noon at the Fillmore Street Complex in West Olive with adoption confirmations beginning at 9:30 a.m.

The day coincides with the seventh annual Michigan Adoption Day, which celebrates adoptive families and efforts to place children into permanent homes.

"We try to make it a celebration and draw attention to the thousands of children who are waiting for parents and loving homes to go into," said 20th Circuit Court Administrator Kevin Bowling. "This is one of the positive things we do through the court system and it's very important for the community to know about."

The Michigan Supreme Court has issued a resolution declaring Nov. 24 as Michigan Adoption Day. Thirty Michigan counties are expected to participate in the day's adoption celebrations, with an expected 225 adoptions throughout the state.

The local adoption day celebration will include a brief ceremony with state and county officials — including guest speaker State Rep. Arlan Meekhof— introductions by some of the adopting families and representatives from various adoption agencies to answer questions for anyone interested in adoption.

"From our standpoint, children come through our system from one of two ways: from the juvenile system or from a neglect or abuse side," Bowling said. "And the missing link in many of these cases is having a safe environment and having strong, supporting parents."

Champagne, who has bounced around from various foster care homes in the Detroit area since she was 5 years old, first met the Kalkmans last December. They met again the following month before the teenager moved into their Holland home last April.

"She fits our family well. She has a need and we can fill it," Joan Kalkman said, adding that Champagne is very upbeat and a delightful girl. "I think everyone needs to be open to seeing where you're life is supposed to go and follow it, and that's kinda what we do."

Described as being very upbeat and delightful, Champagne enjoys cooking, shopping, participating in sports and having sleepovers with friends.

"It's fine here," said Champagne, an eighth-grader at Vanderbilt Charter Academy. "Sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to be here."

A recent development in Champagne's case that came within days of Tuesday's adoption proceeding, however, now has the teen grappling with mixed feelings and a decision that could effect the next four years of her life.

"I was happy finally because someone from my family wants me," she said. All but one of the teen's six blood-related siblings are living with family members. "They (Kalkmans) can love me like that, but I would go with my family if I have a chance."

Alyssa Bambard, adoption director at Adoption Options Worldwide of West Bloomfield, and Champagne's case worker, said last minute "disruptions" like this are rare in the agency she works, but every adoption case has its own "snafus."

"If something doesn't feel right, I won't place a kid," Bambard said, explaining that teenager adoptions are often more difficult because they are more cognizant of their environment and have experienced a roller-coaster ride of disappointment. "They are challenging, but they have a lot to offer."

More than 2,700 children this year were adopted through the state's Department of Human Services and private adoption agencies, according to DHS. A relative or foster parent adopted about 93 percent of those children.

In Ottawa County, there are about 100 to 150 children placed with adoptive families each year, according to Bowling.

"It's a celebration of being with family that will be your forever family. They (children) want a forever family," Bambard said of adoption day.

The Kalkmans hope Champagne will remain in their lives as she has since last April and can formally call her their "daughter" on Tuesday.

"For Champagne, it'll make her feel more secure and have the final legal hurdle taken care of so she can't be pulled around anymore," Joan Kalkman said.

"I wish other people would see the need and step up to the plate because too many people are afraid and there's nothing to be afraid of," she added. "Kids just need to be loved — really, we all do."

On the Web:

http://www.co.ottawa.mi.us/CourtsLE/20thcircuit

www.michigan.gov/dhs

www.mare.org