GHT couple 'give and take' for 65 years

Tue, Feb 9, 2010    to del.icio.us

GRAND HAVEN TOWNSHIP — Norma and Wilbur "Webb" Scrivnor met in a youth group when they were 16 and 20 years old, respectively. More than six decades later, the Grand Haven Township say patience and selective hearing are testaments to their 65-year marriage.

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"We fit together pretty well," said Norma, 85, originally from Wisconsin. "There's been a great deal of love in our marriage. We just get along."

The Scrivnors celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary on Jan. 28 with an elegant dinner and overnight stay in Grand Rapids — where their only daughter, Dawn Phillips Hertz, was visiting from Florida.

"We've done a lot together and we've had a lot of fun," said 88-year-old Webb, a Montana native. "It's amazing when you think about it."

After meeting in Michigan City, Ind., the Scrivnors traveled throughout the country. Distance often separated the pair during Webb's deployments in the Navy, and later in college.

But they persevered, their daughter said, and settled in West Michigan when Webb took a job directing the Steele Junior High School choir, and later at Muskegon Heights Junior High School. Norma worked as a bookkeeper at Muskegon Bank & Trust for several years.

"They each have things they do together, but they each have their own individual things they do as well," Hertz said. "Marriage is an entity, but each of you is a person and you shouldn't lose site of that."

Webb and Norma moved to Grand Haven Township in 1964 when Webb took the choir director position at Grand Haven High School. Webb was the director there for nearly 19 years — taking the choir to Europe multiple times — before retiring in 1981.

"It's always been music," Norma said of their common interest.

The pair have been involved in countless community organizations together — including Tuesday Musicale; their member church, Church of the Dunes; and the local library. Webb also stays active by singing with a barbershop quartet and writing.

"I was always known as Webb's wife for many, many years," Norma said. "Then, when I joined the United Methodist Women's Group, he had to learn how to be Norma's husband. He was Norma's husband and that's how it was.

"I always worked along with him to do what we wanted to do," she added.

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While the Scrivnors say their marriage has remained complacent with few struggles, Norma advises engaged and young married couples that having a sense of humor and being easy-going are keys to a lasting relationship.

"I always tell people it's selective hearing," Webb said with a laugh.

"I say its patience," Norma said. "You have to be patient and wait your turn. We take it easy, and that's the way it's been for 65 years and I hope it doesn't change."

A plaque that hangs in Webb's home office is a testament to their humor. It reads: "My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said!" Norma bought it as an anniversary gift for her husband more than 20 years ago.

"They were just good role models. They're always very loving," their daughter said. "They always kiss each other good-bye when one of them leaves the house."

Webb describes his wife of 65 years as "creative," while Norma describes her husband as "good looking" and "caring."

"I think it's important in any marriage that lasts that you can't be selfish," Webb said. "You have to realize it takes two to tango, and you need to listen to each other.

"It's a 'give and take,'" he added. "You have to give and not just take."